diff --git a/src/d_player.h b/src/d_player.h
index 91989279c..69eab45d7 100644
--- a/src/d_player.h
+++ b/src/d_player.h
@@ -582,8 +582,6 @@ typedef struct player_s
 
 	UINT8 kickstartaccel;
 
-	UINT8 stairjank;
-
 #ifdef HWRENDER
 	fixed_t fovadd; // adjust FOV for hw rendering
 #endif
diff --git a/src/deh_tables.c b/src/deh_tables.c
index 47a6ca515..c5e6446d1 100644
--- a/src/deh_tables.c
+++ b/src/deh_tables.c
@@ -4493,12 +4493,6 @@ const char *const STATE_LIST[] = { // array length left dynamic for sanity testi
 	"S_DEBTSPIKEC",
 	"S_DEBTSPIKED",
 	"S_DEBTSPIKEE",
-
-	// Sparks when driving on stairs
-	"S_JANKSPARK1",
-	"S_JANKSPARK2",
-	"S_JANKSPARK3",
-	"S_JANKSPARK4",
 };
 
 // RegEx to generate this from info.h: ^\tMT_([^,]+), --> \t"MT_\1",
@@ -5289,7 +5283,6 @@ const char *const MOBJTYPE_LIST[] = {  // array length left dynamic for sanity t
 	"MT_DRIFTDUST",
 	"MT_DRIFTELECTRICITY",
 	"MT_DRIFTELECTRICSPARK",
-	"MT_JANKSPARK",
 
 	"MT_ROCKETSNEAKER", // Rocket sneakers
 
diff --git a/src/info.c b/src/info.c
index f8d573ab4..d977de136 100644
--- a/src/info.c
+++ b/src/info.c
@@ -5083,12 +5083,6 @@ state_t states[NUMSTATES] =
 	{SPR_DEBT, 7|FF_FULLBRIGHT, 1, {NULL}, 0, 0, S_DEBTSPIKED}, // S_DEBTSPIKEC
 	{SPR_DEBT, 6|FF_FULLBRIGHT, 1, {NULL}, 0, 0, S_DEBTSPIKEE}, // S_DEBTSPIKED
 	{SPR_DEBT, 7|FF_FULLBRIGHT, 1, {NULL}, 0, 0, S_DEBTSPIKE1}, // S_DEBTSPIKEE
-
-	// Sparks when driving on stairs
-	{SPR_JANK, 0, 1, {NULL}, 0, 0, S_JANKSPARK2}, // S_JANKSPARK1
-	{SPR_JANK, FF_PAPERSPRITE|FF_FULLBRIGHT|FF_ANIMATE, 4, {NULL}, 3, 1, S_JANKSPARK3}, // S_JANKSPARK2
-	{SPR_JANK, 0, 0, {A_SetCustomValue}, -1, 5, S_JANKSPARK4}, // S_JANKSPARK3
-	{SPR_JANK, 0, 0, {A_ChangeAngleRelative}, 180, 180, S_JANKSPARK2}, // S_JANKSPARK4
 };
 
 mobjinfo_t mobjinfo[NUMMOBJTYPES] =
@@ -23145,33 +23139,6 @@ mobjinfo_t mobjinfo[NUMMOBJTYPES] =
 		S_NULL          // raisestate
 	},
 
-	{           // MT_JANKSPARK
-		-1,             // doomednum
-		S_JANKSPARK1,   // spawnstate
-		1000,           // spawnhealth
-		S_NULL,         // seestate
-		sfx_None,       // seesound
-		8,              // reactiontime
-		sfx_None,       // attacksound
-		S_NULL,         // painstate
-		0,              // painchance
-		sfx_None,       // painsound
-		S_NULL,         // meleestate
-		S_NULL,         // missilestate
-		S_NULL,         // deathstate
-		S_NULL,         // xdeathstate
-		sfx_None,       // deathsound
-		8,              // speed
-		8*FRACUNIT,     // radius
-		8*FRACUNIT,     // height
-		0,              // display offset
-		100,            // mass
-		0,              // damage
-		sfx_None,       // activesound
-		MF_NOBLOCKMAP|MF_NOCLIPHEIGHT|MF_NOGRAVITY|MF_FLOAT|MF_DONTENCOREMAP, // flags
-		S_NULL          // raisestate
-	},
-
 	{           // MT_ROCKETSNEAKER
 		-1,             // doomednum
 		S_ROCKETSNEAKER_L, // spawnstate
diff --git a/src/info.h b/src/info.h
index ab1867973..e4fd06ca2 100644
--- a/src/info.h
+++ b/src/info.h
@@ -5501,11 +5501,6 @@ typedef enum state
 	S_DEBTSPIKED,
 	S_DEBTSPIKEE,
 
-	S_JANKSPARK1,
-	S_JANKSPARK2,
-	S_JANKSPARK3,
-	S_JANKSPARK4,
-
 	S_FIRSTFREESLOT,
 	S_LASTFREESLOT = S_FIRSTFREESLOT + NUMSTATEFREESLOTS - 1,
 	NUMSTATES
@@ -6315,7 +6310,6 @@ typedef enum mobj_type
 	MT_DRIFTDUST,
 	MT_DRIFTELECTRICITY,
 	MT_DRIFTELECTRICSPARK,
-	MT_JANKSPARK,
 
 	MT_ROCKETSNEAKER,
 
diff --git a/src/k_bot.c b/src/k_bot.c
index e64089aef..f04188b9b 100644
--- a/src/k_bot.c
+++ b/src/k_bot.c
@@ -641,10 +641,7 @@ static botprediction_t *K_CreateBotPrediction(player_t *player)
 {
 	const precise_t time = I_GetPreciseTime();
 
-	// Stair janking makes it harder to steer, so attempt to steer harder.
-	const UINT8 jankDiv = (player->stairjank > 0) ? 2 : 1;
-
-	const INT16 handling = K_GetKartTurnValue(player, KART_FULLTURN) / jankDiv; // Reduce prediction based on how fast you can turn
+	const INT16 handling = K_GetKartTurnValue(player, KART_FULLTURN); // Reduce prediction based on how fast you can turn
 
 	const tic_t futuresight = (TICRATE * KART_FULLTURN) / max(1, handling); // How far ahead into the future to try and predict
 	const fixed_t speed = K_BotSpeedScaled(player, P_AproxDistance(player->mo->momx, player->mo->momy));
diff --git a/src/k_kart.c b/src/k_kart.c
index 60d9ee48a..f08975392 100644
--- a/src/k_kart.c
+++ b/src/k_kart.c
@@ -9054,11 +9054,6 @@ SINT8 K_Sliptiding(player_t *player)
 	return player->drift ? 0 : player->aizdriftstrat;
 }
 
-INT32 K_StairJankFlip(INT32 value)
-{
-	return P_AltFlip(value, 2);
-}
-
 // Ebraking visuals for mo
 // we use mo->hprev for the hold bubble. If another hprev exists for some reason, remove it.
 
diff --git a/src/k_kart.h b/src/k_kart.h
index bab501200..a6484adce 100644
--- a/src/k_kart.h
+++ b/src/k_kart.h
@@ -107,7 +107,6 @@ INT16 K_UpdateSteeringValue(INT16 inputSteering, INT16 destSteering);
 INT16 K_GetKartTurnValue(player_t *player, INT16 turnvalue);
 INT32 K_GetUnderwaterTurnAdjust(player_t *player);
 INT32 K_GetKartDriftSparkValue(player_t *player);
-INT32 K_StairJankFlip(INT32 value);
 INT32 K_GetKartDriftSparkValueForStage(player_t *player, UINT8 stage);
 void K_SpawnDriftBoostExplosion(player_t *player, int stage);
 void K_SpawnDriftElectricSparks(player_t *player);
diff --git a/src/k_terrain.c b/src/k_terrain.c
index 44b8b3163..d7892eca0 100644
--- a/src/k_terrain.c
+++ b/src/k_terrain.c
@@ -424,26 +424,6 @@ void K_ProcessTerrainEffect(mobj_t *mo)
 		P_InstaThrust(mo, mo->angle, speed);
 	}
 
-	// Bumpy floor
-	if (terrain->flags & TRF_STAIRJANK)
-	{
-		/* use a shorter sound if not two tics have passed
-		 * since the last step */
-		S_StartSound(mo, player->stairjank
-				>= 16 ?  sfx_s23b : sfx_s268);
-
-		if (player->stairjank == 0)
-		{
-			mobj_t *spark = P_SpawnMobjFromMobj(mo,
-					0, 0, 0, MT_JANKSPARK);
-			spark->fuse = 9;
-			spark->cusval = K_StairJankFlip(ANGLE_90);
-			P_SetTarget(&spark->target, mo);
-		}
-
-		player->stairjank = 17;
-	}
-
 	// (Offroad is handled elsewhere!)
 }
 
@@ -1096,10 +1076,6 @@ static void K_ParseTerrainParameter(size_t i, char *param, char *val)
 	{
 		K_FlagBoolean(&terrain->flags, TRF_SNEAKERPANEL, val);
 	}
-	else if (stricmp(param, "bumpy") == 0 || stricmp(param, "stairJank") == 0)
-	{
-		K_FlagBoolean(&terrain->flags, TRF_STAIRJANK, val);
-	}
 	else if (stricmp(param, "tripwire") == 0)
 	{
 		K_FlagBoolean(&terrain->flags, TRF_TRIPWIRE, val);
diff --git a/src/k_terrain.h b/src/k_terrain.h
index 924f7a1b1..3a77610fd 100644
--- a/src/k_terrain.h
+++ b/src/k_terrain.h
@@ -69,7 +69,7 @@ typedef enum
 	// Terrain flag values.
 	TRF_LIQUID = 1, // Texture water properties (wavy, slippery, etc)
 	TRF_SNEAKERPANEL = 1<<1, // Texture is a booster
-	TRF_STAIRJANK = 1<<2, // Texture is bumpy road
+	// = 1<<2, // Was bumpy road.
 	TRF_TRIPWIRE = 1<<3 // Texture is a tripwire when used as a midtexture
 } terrain_flags_t;
 
diff --git a/src/p_map.c b/src/p_map.c
index 6f3b9f9fe..365427300 100644
--- a/src/p_map.c
+++ b/src/p_map.c
@@ -2496,7 +2496,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 	fixed_t radius = thing->radius;
 	fixed_t thingtop;
 	fixed_t startingonground = P_IsObjectOnGround(thing);
-	fixed_t stairjank = 0;
 	pslope_t *oldslope = thing->standingslope;
 	floatok = false;
 
@@ -2573,9 +2572,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 				{
 					if (tmfloorstep <= maxstep)
 					{
-						if (!flipped)
-							stairjank = tmfloorstep;
-
 						thing->z = thing->floorz = tmfloorz;
 						thing->floorrover = tmfloorrover;
 						thing->eflags |= MFE_JUSTSTEPPEDDOWN;
@@ -2589,9 +2585,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 				{
 					if (tmceilingstep <= maxstep)
 					{
-						if (flipped)
-							stairjank = tmceilingstep;
-
 						thing->z = ( thing->ceilingz = tmceilingz ) - thing->height;
 						thing->ceilingrover = tmceilingrover;
 						thing->eflags |= MFE_JUSTSTEPPEDDOWN;
@@ -2608,9 +2601,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 
 					if (thingtop == thing->ceilingz && tmceilingz > thingtop && tmceilingz - thingtop <= maxstep)
 					{
-						if (flipped)
-							stairjank = (tmceilingz - thingtop);
-
 						thing->z = (thing->ceilingz = tmceilingz) - thing->height;
 						thing->ceilingrover = tmceilingrover;
 						thing->eflags |= MFE_JUSTSTEPPEDDOWN;
@@ -2618,9 +2608,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 					}
 					else if (thing->z == thing->floorz && tmfloorz < thing->z && thing->z - tmfloorz <= maxstep)
 					{
-						if (!flipped)
-							stairjank = (thing->z - tmfloorz);
-
 						thing->z = thing->floorz = tmfloorz;
 						thing->floorrover = tmfloorrover;
 						thing->eflags |= MFE_JUSTSTEPPEDDOWN;
@@ -2725,28 +2712,6 @@ boolean P_TryMove(mobj_t *thing, fixed_t x, fixed_t y, boolean allowdropoff)
 		thing->terrain = NULL;
 	}
 
-	/* FIXME: slope step down (even up) has some false
-		positives, so just ignore them entirely. */
-	if (stairjank && !oldslope && !thing->standingslope &&
-			thing->player && !thing->player->spectator)
-	{
-		/* use a shorter sound if not two tics have passed
-		 * since the last step */
-		S_StartSound(thing, thing->player->stairjank
-				>= 16 ?  sfx_s23b : sfx_s268);
-
-		if (!thing->player->stairjank)
-		{
-			mobj_t * spark = P_SpawnMobjFromMobj(thing,
-					0, 0, 0, MT_JANKSPARK);
-			spark->fuse = 9;
-			spark->cusval = K_StairJankFlip(ANGLE_90);
-			P_SetTarget(&spark->target, thing);
-		}
-
-		thing->player->stairjank = 17;
-	}
-
 	thing->x = x;
 	thing->y = y;
 
diff --git a/src/p_mobj.c b/src/p_mobj.c
index ae035df04..9b64fb457 100644
--- a/src/p_mobj.c
+++ b/src/p_mobj.c
@@ -7398,21 +7398,6 @@ static boolean P_MobjRegularThink(mobj_t *mobj)
 	case MT_BRAKEDUST:
 		//mobj->renderflags ^= RF_DONTDRAW;
 		break;
-	case MT_JANKSPARK:
-		if (!mobj->target)
-		{
-			P_RemoveMobj(mobj);
-			return false;
-		}
-		if (mobj->fuse == 1 && mobj->target->player &&
-				mobj->target->player->stairjank >= 8)
-		{
-			mobj->fuse = 9;
-		}
-		P_MoveOrigin(mobj, mobj->target->x,
-				mobj->target->y, mobj->target->z);
-		mobj->angle = mobj->target->angle + mobj->cusval;
-		break;
 	case MT_PLAYERRETICULE:
 		if (!mobj->target || !mobj->target->health)
 		{
diff --git a/src/p_saveg.c b/src/p_saveg.c
index 72101fc9c..3333c94e2 100644
--- a/src/p_saveg.c
+++ b/src/p_saveg.c
@@ -365,8 +365,6 @@ static void P_NetArchivePlayers(void)
 
 		WRITEUINT8(save_p, players[i].kickstartaccel);
 
-		WRITEUINT8(save_p, players[i].stairjank);
-
 		// respawnvars_t
 		WRITEUINT8(save_p, players[i].respawn.state);
 		WRITEUINT32(save_p, K_GetWaypointHeapIndex(players[i].respawn.wp));
@@ -652,8 +650,6 @@ static void P_NetUnArchivePlayers(void)
 
 		players[i].kickstartaccel = READUINT8(save_p);
 
-		players[i].stairjank = READUINT8(save_p);
-
 		// respawnvars_t
 		players[i].respawn.state = READUINT8(save_p);
 		players[i].respawn.wp = (waypoint_t *)(size_t)READUINT32(save_p);
diff --git a/src/p_slopes.c b/src/p_slopes.c
index 871ef929b..9917c9dbc 100644
--- a/src/p_slopes.c
+++ b/src/p_slopes.c
@@ -984,11 +984,6 @@ void P_SlopeLaunch(mobj_t *mo)
 	//CONS_Printf("Launched off of slope.\n");
 	mo->standingslope = NULL;
 	mo->terrain = NULL;
-
-	if (mo->player)
-	{
-		mo->player->stairjank = 0; // fuck you
-	}
 }
 
 //
diff --git a/src/p_user.c b/src/p_user.c
index 215f67ffd..2bf101428 100644
--- a/src/p_user.c
+++ b/src/p_user.c
@@ -1769,11 +1769,7 @@ static void P_3dMovement(player_t *player)
 	// Get the old momentum; this will be needed at the end of the function! -SH
 	oldMagnitude = R_PointToDist2(player->mo->momx - player->cmomx, player->mo->momy - player->cmomy, 0, 0);
 
-	if (player->stairjank > 8 && leveltime & 3)
-	{
-		movepushangle = K_MomentumAngle(player->mo);
-	}
-	else if (player->drift != 0)
+	if (player->drift != 0)
 	{
 		movepushangle = player->mo->angle - (ANGLE_45/5) * player->drift;
 	}
@@ -4460,11 +4456,6 @@ void P_PlayerThink(player_t *player)
 		player->typing_duration = 0;
 	}
 
-	if (player->stairjank > 0)
-	{
-		player->stairjank--;
-	}
-
 	K_KartPlayerThink(player, cmd); // SRB2kart
 
 	DoABarrelRoll(player);
diff --git a/src/r_patchrotation.c b/src/r_patchrotation.c
index ab6c0de97..00f05a294 100644
--- a/src/r_patchrotation.c
+++ b/src/r_patchrotation.c
@@ -55,12 +55,6 @@ static angle_t R_PlayerSpriteRotation(player_t *player, player_t *viewPlayer)
 			FixedMul(sliptideLift, FINECOSINE(angleDelta >> ANGLETOFINESHIFT));
 	}
 
-	if (player->stairjank)
-	{
-		rollAngle += K_StairJankFlip(ANGLE_11hh / 2 /
-				(17 / player->stairjank));
-	}
-
 	return rollAngle;
 }